Rambling Reads | Beautiful You

Over Thanksgiving break, I went on a magical journey to New York to visit my cousins, and for the eight hour plane ride (both ways) I ended up finishing the latest Chuck Palahniuk novel, Beautiful You. Here are my thoughts.

Palahniuk starts off this novel with a horrifying courtroom rape scene. I won't lie to you, I almost couldn't get through it, but I forced myself to push past those first few pages and I'm glad I did. All of Palahniuk's novels come with a specially-packaged message on society. Fight Club centered around materialism, Invisible Monsters focused on society's curse of unattainable beauty, and Survivor serves up a steaming pile of knowledge surrounding depression and cults.

In Beautiful You, sex and gender are the two main themes. Warning: This book is not for the faint of heart, or reader who's uncomfortable reading about sex, because dear god there is a lot of it. The main character, Penny Harrigan, is introduced as a normal, slightly boring twenty-something living in New York. This wannabe lawyer never truly pushed the boundaries of sex and eroticism, but all that changes when she meets C. Linus Maxwell, or as he likes to call himself, "Climax-Well." He is fascinated by her, and is constantly described as taking tedious notes in his little notebook, jotting down her every response and movement.

Once Penny and Maxwell begin their torrid affair, things take a turn for the experimental. Maxwell begins to test out hundreds of different sex toys on Penny, bringing her sexual experience to a whole other level. While it's a wild ride for Penny, she eventually yearns for any sense of love from Maxwell, but it's clear he's not capable of it.

Penny soon begins to realize she is part of something much larger than just experimenting with Maxwell, the highly attractive nerd. It turns out that Maxwell is using Penny as his last test subject for his line of feminine sex toys called Beautiful You. Once their relationship comes to an end, he releases the line and that's when the shit hits the fan. Penny watches as all the women of the world become consumed with desire for these glorious sex toys. She, and quite honestly the reader, becomes conflicted with the idea that women should have the complete right and feel empowered by pleasuring themselves and exploring their sexuality, and the evil plot Maxwell has for these women.

This book is full of twists and turns, like a regular Palahniuk, so I won't spoil them for you. Let's just say that it's a doozy. Personally, I found Beautiful You to be an extremely empowering novel for women. The narrative centered around the idea that women control most of society's capitalism and, with the help of sex toys, can become more powerful than the opposite sex. While it takes ideas about gender and sex to the extreme, Palahniuk gets straight to the point that masturbation involving women is still regarded as a taboo subject in our society, which I believe is why he goes entirely over the top with his descriptions of sexual encounters throughout the book. His purpose is to make you uncomfortable, and he does his job.

Lastly, my favorite part of the book was at the very end. Penny has conquered Maxwell and is able to control her own body, rather than have Maxwell controlling her. Feeling unsatisfied after the end of Beautiful You sex toys, Penny decides to use the last stimulator to give all women a complete sense of self worth and empowerment. She gives them the gift of appreciation for their own bodies. It was a wonderful moment to read for women, especially coming from a male author. Palahniuk successfully writes in the tone of a female, and champions for all women and their ability to love themselves.

Okay, so I might be slightly biased when it comes to Chuck, but I would suggest giving this book a read, if you are comfortable with reading about a good deal of sex. If not, I wouldn't really suggest any of Palahniuk's novels, honestly.

Have you read Beautiful You? What did you think? Tell me in the comments below!

6 Ways I Attempt To Deal With Anxiety

Having anxiety is never fun. I won't go so far to say that I'm constantly anxiety-ridden, but there are moments when I'm stuck in my head and can't find a way out. Recently, I was waiting to hear back about a fantastic potential job and every waking thought was consumed by self-doubt and anxiety on hearing back. Every day that passed, I analyzed why it was taking so long, when it all seriousness, I had no control over when they called me with any kind of news.

P.s. I got the job, but more on that later. 

It was in this chaotic few days that I learned what helps to ease my anxiety, so here are some of the things that work for me, maybe they'll work for you too!

Do some doodling

This activity is a fairly recent discovery for me. When I was at the peak of my anxiety last week waiting to hear back about this job, my cousin told me about adult coloring books. She told me they would help me with my anxiety, so I went on a quest to Michael's and found a gorgeous coloring book to doodle away in, I bought myself some colored pencils, because I'm 24, I have no colored pencils lying around. When I got home, I started coloring and man does that shit work. It's like a form of meditation because the illustrations in the book are so detailed and intricate, you really aren't focusing on anything but what you're coloring. I would suggest coloring books to anyone who is searching for a way to quiet their mind for a little bit. Plus, it's just fun. 

Here is my first masterpiece: 

Watch your favorite TV show/movie

Yes, this may seem like an easy one but it works wonders. It's the perfect distraction for my always-working brain and it gives you some laughs. My go-to shows are The Office and Friends, those two will forever brighten my mood and help me to laugh my anxiety off. 

Call your go-to person 

That person will always be my dad, he knows how to calm me down and put things in perspective so I don't completely go off the rails. However, that may not be the case for everyone. Your go-to person could be your mom, your sister, a best friend, or even a boyfriend. Or maybe your dog, who knows. Whenever you are feeling the anxiety start to overwhelm you, pick up the phone and call your person. I am so very grateful that I have my dad, who is probably one of the only people who understands my anxiety, to talk to when I'm stressed. Not everyone has that person, and it's so important to be thankful if you have that person in your life who will pick up the phone at 2 in the morning just to talk. 

Chill with your pet 

According to WebMD (aka my homepage because I'm convinced I have about 10 different illnesses) having a pet is a serious stress soother. Just petting your cat, dog, bunny, bird, or whatever animal you choose to imprint on for life, can not only lower your blood pressure, it helps your body to release a relaxation hormone, and cuts down on levels of a stress hormone. It helps even more when you hug your dog super tight and force him to cuddle with you...nope, sorry that's just me and my dog.

I think I'm doing it wrong. 

Listen to your favorite playlist

Whether you use Spotify, Pandora, ITunes, Apple Music, or you go old school and just buy CD's, music is a huge stress reducer. Personally, listening to a folksy playlist with some The Civil Wars, The Weepies, and more recently Matt Corby, calms my nerves and really puts me in a dreamy mood.

Here's one of my favorite folksy playlists, The New Retro: 

Breathe

Just breathe and realize that everything will be okay. I know, it's really easy to just say that, but to believe it is another thing. A little while back, I started up yoga and I absolutely loved it. Focusing on breathing did wonders for my mood and mindset in life. To this day, when I'm extremely anxious or stressed out, I stop what I'm doing and take three seriously deep breaths and focus only on my breathing, and I open my eyes and my anxiety is lessened. While this may not work for everyone, it's definitely something you should try, you never know if it could.

So, those are my go-to stress smoothers, what are yours? 

The 5 Greatest Halloween TV Episodes

Halloween is quickly approaching, so it's time to reveal my all time favorite Halloween TV episodes. These aren't ranked in any type of order because having to decide which episode is #1 gives me too much anxiety. Let's do this!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "Halloween" 

While there are several classic Halloween episodes of Buffy, I think the second season's is the best. In this episode, Buffy and the Scooby gang are all forced to take the neighborhood kids trick or treating by the Principal, but the night has other plans for them. Ethan Rayne, the douchebag of chaos, comes into town and takes over the costume shop, magically turning everyone's Halloween costumes real. Hilarity ensues with Xander becoming a real Army dude, Willow turning into a ghost, and Buffy transforming into a noblewoman. This is the first we see that Ethan Rayne is actually the old friend/enemy of Giles, and he takes him down in good ol' Ripper fashion. 

Bonus: My absolute favorite part of this episode is when Willow, who was self-conscious about her costume so she wore a ghost sheet over it, abandons her sheet and her fear, and walks down the street in her revealing outfit. It's then that Oz, or the adorable Seth Green, sees Willow for the first time and utters, "Who is that girl?" Swoon. 

Boy Meets World: "And Then There Was Shawn" 

  

It's not Halloween until you've watched the Halloween episode of Boy Meets World. Quite possibly one of the greatest Halloween episodes, it revolves around all of the BMW squad having detention together....or so they thought. It's really just an entire episode mocking all of the popular 90's scary movies like Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Jennifer Love Hewitt even makes a cameo. I don't know that I'll ever get over seeing Mr. Feeny murdered, but watching Cory, Shawn, and the gang run around the high school hallways does make it a tad easier. 

Parks and Recreation: "Meet N' Greet" 

In this Halloween episode, April and Andy throw their first Halloween party and it's quite the rager. I hope my Halloween party will be as cool as theirs. One can dream. April dresses up as a deflated sumo wrestler (awesome) and poor Ben learns to express his annoyance with the fact that April and Andy never asked him about throwing the party in the first place. 

The Office: "Costume Contest" 

I'm probably biased because I love this show way too much, but this season seven episode takes the cake. Pam gets everyone all excited for the prize of the costume contest, a gigantic coupon book. Everyone dressed up in their best costumes, except for Jim. He's usually not the type to dress up, but at the end of this episode, he dresses up as Pop Eye for Pam and their daughter, like the adorable character he is. 

How I Met Your Mother: "The Slutty Pumpkin" 

This show has some impressive holiday episodes, and Halloween is one of the best. In the first season of How I Met Your Mother, Ted goes on yet another quest to find a long-lost lover. This one happens to be the "slutty pumpkin," aka the girl dressed as a slutty pumpkin at the rooftop Halloween party. Apparently, Ted looks for her every year since he met her, and blames Lily for throwing away the candy wrapper that she wrote her number on. Get it together, Lily. 

So, those are a few of my favorite Halloween episodes! What are yours? Tell me in the comments below! 

Rambling Reads | Dorothy Must Die

It's been awhile since I've done a Rambling Reads review because I haven't been able to actually finish my book in so long. Life, man.

However, I managed to finish my latest read, Dorothy Must Die, this past weekend and here are my thoughts.

Dorothy Must Die tells a much different story than the traditional Wizard of Oz tale. While I'm usually a huge fan of fairytale retellings, this one wasn't my favorite. It's almost like Danielle Paige, the author of the novel, did too good a job writing the book in the perspective of a teenage girl because I wanted to pull my hair out like 80% of the time while reading.

The tone of the book is immature and Amy, the main protagonist, isn't a character you are rooting for. By the end of the story, I could have cared less if she defeated Dorothy or the Cowardly Lion bit her head off. Too much of the story was centered around Amy's all-too-quick infatuation with Nox, one of the witches in The Order, a mysterious group of Wicked witches trying to revolt against Dorothy. More adventure, less googly eyes. A young adult series that does a fantastic job of creating an empowering, young female protagonist is Cinder. This story is a twist of several different fairytales, and takes you on a journey of action, adventure, and the appropriate amount of romance.

Now, don't get me wrong, there were a few redeeming qualities of Dorothy Must Die. I did somewhat enjoy the twist of the traditional story. The book goes that Amy, a lonely girl from Kansas, is swept up in her motor home to the land of Oz. Upon her arrival, she finds that Oz is nothing like the storybooks say. The reason for this sad, depressing version of Oz is Dorothy. She isn't the sweet, innocent girl everyone talks about apparently. In this tale, Dorothy returns to Oz because she can't handle the boring, non-magical world of Kansas. Oz makes her a princess when she returns, and everything goes downhill from there.

She takes over Oz and magic consumes her. She sucks all the magic dry, making Oz a wasteland. Enter Amy. This annoying, immature, and relatively selfish young girl will be your hero for the next 500 pages. Enjoy. I would have to say that the only scene in the book I genuinely connected to was when Amy uses a magic mirror to see her mother in Kansas. She finds her attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and telling a friend she wished her daughter were here to see her now. Amy then goes on to think how much she misses her mother and how proud she is of the change she has made. However, she also is angered by the fact that it took her leaving for her mother to get help, and I found that reaction to be extremely real.

There are so, so many young adult books that revolve around retelling traditional folklore and fairytales that sometimes you can find a dud. This is the case with Dorothy Must Die. I can't say I'll run to the bookstore and look for the next book in this series. Sorry Danielle Paige.

Well, that's my take on Dorothy Must Die, what was yours? Did you enjoy the book? Let me know in the comments. 

#WhyIWrite

Today is National Day on Writing, and to celebrate, the New York Times, along with the National Council of Teachers of English, and the National Writing Project, have teamed up to create the hashtag, #WhyIWrite.

Inspired by a classic essay by the infamous George Orwell, this hashtag has been around since back in 2011, and it's been going strong. The New York Times attempted to live-blog the trending hashtag, but it was so successful that they couldn't keep up. Thousands of timeless authors, and unknown creative authors, participated and inspired us all to keep our creative juices flowing.

The #WhyIWrite hashtag can really be anything. You can post your thoughts, ideas, work, memories, photos, or videos to join the conversation. It's just a fantastic way to express your admiration for writing.

Personally, I think this is an inspiring thing for Twitter to do. Most of the time, I sign onto Twitter and I'm instantly bombarded with meaningless hashtags and entirely too enthusiastic One Direction fans, but this means something. Writing can be a way for so many people to express their innermost fears, joys, and even feelings they are afraid to talk about. It's an incredibly cathartic experience to write out one's emotions, and it's a big reason I enjoy it so much. In the spirit of this National Day of Writing, I'll give a few reasons #WhyIWrite.

Sometimes, that can be extremely difficult. I have always been the kind of person that enjoys sharing my memories and life stories with people, so I've personally never found it very hard to write down my experiences. However, expressing a specific emotion or feeling can be tricky. Usually, I only write when I'm feeling an emotion pretty intensely. Writing isn't something I can just do with the drop of a hat. I've found that my ability to feel very deeply is because I love to write. It's been a thorn in my side in life, but in writing it only gives me the advantage. To feel deeply makes you an easy target, but when I'm writing it makes for a wonderfully cathartic journey. I can start out feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness, and the words will ooze out of my fingertips, and onto the page, making them raw, real, and no longer my burden. What can I say, it's cheaper than therapy.

I also write to pick myself up, which is similar to what I wrote above, but it's important to realize that it's okay to cry shit out. Whenever I'm having a terrible day. I go to my laptop, open up a blank Word document, and just type. It doesn't really matter what I'm writing, just the action of writing is soothing, and emotional for me. Sometimes you just gotta cry onto your laptop (or journal) while you listen to The Civil Wars. It allows you to have the feeling and then move on from it. I've always been a firm believer in owning your emotions and moving past them.

Being a human being can be hard. Especially when we have to do it every day. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others and living in our minds. I know I do. I don't think my brain is capable of a mute button. Believe me, I've tried. Writing helps me focus my disconnected thoughts, and it also gives me motivation to try and connect with other people. When I write, I'm writing for myself but also in the hope that maybe just one person reads just one sentence, stops for a second, and thinks, "I know that feeling." Because really, we all want that connection. We may not admit it, but it's something every person is craving.

My Papu, Greek for grandfather, was always my cheerleader in my writing. Every Christmas, he would only ask for all the copies of everything I had written that year and every year I would make him a little book, and he would sit next to the tree and read it. While I always wanted to honor him, it was his passing away last March that truly motivates me to honor his life and his influence on mine. I have a goal for next year to write a children's book about him. It's a comforting feeling to know that by writing about the people you have lost, they are still alive.

This is probably the most important reason. I write for myself, no one else. I have very much learned, from years in college and creative writing classes, that people aren't always going to like what you write. They can actually really hate it. But guess what? Doesn't matter. You didn't write it for them. Own your words and no one can hurt you. This ideology comes from years of writing groups and coming home from class crying because some latte drinking chick in a beanie and glasses told you the story you wrote about your grandparents is "too cliche." You gotta go through those moments to get the thick skin I've developed in my writing. Everyone feels it, and they live to tell the tale. It will make you stronger, and a better writer.

Well, those are the reasons I write. I want to hear your #WhyIWrite! Leave them in the comments below, or write your own blog post!

6 Life Lessons Friends Taught Me

Since it's the 21st anniversary of Friends, the greatest TV show ever created, I thought I would write about what each "Friend" has taught me about life.

Monica Geller

Monica taught me to let your freak flag fly. Although she is my least favorite character, Monica doesn't apologize for being herself. She is highly obsessive, uptight, and incredibly high maintenance but she allows her closest friends to see her true self, so they are able to all laugh it off. Also, she tells it like it is. She doesn't sugar coat things for her friends and forces them to see what they may not want to at the time. Monica does this many, many times for Rachel and her countless moments of weakness with Ross. 

Rachel Green

Rachel taught me that you can make mistakes when you're young, but learn from them. When we first meet Rachel Green, she is a runaway bride. Although she was raised with Prada and yachts, Rachel learns the hard way about becoming an adult and working for her money. Whenever I'm feeling down about not having enough money or seeing my bank account cleaned out by rent or student loans, I just think, "If Rachel Green can do it, so can I." 

Phoebe Buffay

Phoebe Buffay: Buried Alive. Phoebe taught me that it's perfectly fine to be weird. And to be yourself. Most of the time, you have no clue what she's actually talking about, but you love her anyways because she is so authentic. She also taught me to fiercely love my friends, because Phoebe's family is so chaotic that she considers her friends to be family. 

Joey Tribbiani 

Joey taught me quite possibly the greatest lesson of all: not to share my food. Well that, and he taught me heart. Although Joey wasn't the smartest crayon in the box, he had more heart than any of the other five friends combined. You could clearly see from any episode that if one of them truly needed him, he would come running. It was also heartwarming to see Joey step up to the plate when Rachel was his pregnant roommate for a tiny bit. 

Ross Geller

Ross taught me that even though life gets you down, you have to pick yourself back up. His character is very much known for having trials and tribulations, with his Eeyore-like "Hi.." revealing to the audience when he was really down and out. But, through all of his divorces and breakups, Ross still managed to find the positive, and the funny. 

Chandler Bing

My all-time favorite character obviously taught me to find the humor in life. Delivering some of my most quotable one-liners, Chandler Bing is the epitome of funny. Although he is all jokes, Chandler also taught me that humor can come from love. Throughout all ten seasons of the show, Chandler's wise-cracks all came from a place of pure love and admiration for his friends. Sometimes, he would even make jokes because he knew they were going through something tough, like the episode right after Ross and Rachel break up for the first time. Chandler is overflowing with jokes during the whole episode, which is clearly an attempt to distract his friends from the fact that this happy union has come to an end. If Joey is the heart of "Friends," Chandler is the well-meaning funny bone. 

Happy 21st anniversary to a wonderfully funny show with characters filled with heart and friendship! Who is your favorite friend and what did they teach you about life? 

5 of the Most Magical Roald Dahl Movie Adaptations

Happy Roald Dahl Day! Not only is this a day to celebrate one of the most inspirational children's authors that ever lived, but it's a day to honor his creative work in literature and adaptations into film. I may be biased because I'm obsessed with everything involving this man, but here are a few of my favorite film adaptations from this wonderful fella.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Directed by Wes Anderson, Fantastic Mr. Fox has a funky vibe with loads of sarcasm, so it's just great. It keeps relatively close to the original plot of the novel, with Fox and his wife living under a dangerous tree near a farm. Their son, Ash, is an adorable ball of emotions, and his new pal Kristofferson makes his sullen personality shine. I always loved this rebellious, snarky tale of Fox taking on the man, which was the Berk's Squab Farm, and George Clooney does a flawless job bringing Fox's personality to life. There are other Wes Anderson regulars who lend their voices to different characters in the film, with Bill Murray voicing Badger, Josh Schwartzman as Ash, Owen Wilson as Coach Skip, and Wes Anderson even plays the part of Stan Weasel. If you loved Dahl's book, you will get a kick out of this adaptation. 

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

If you haven't seen this movie, you never had a childhood. That's right, I said it. Roald Dahl's Charlie & the Chocolate Factory is a classic story of a young boy whose dreams of touring a mansion filled with candy, chocolate, and small, yet judgmental men were answered in a golden ticket. While there was a more recent adaptation done with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka, I much prefer this version. Gene Wilder is Willy Wonka. The actor is the embodiment of the inner child that is Wonka's character. Don't lie, that tunnel scene gave you nightmares. 

Matilda

This movie is everything. Being a 90's child, I clearly associate it with my childhood. When reading this book, and then watching the movie, I felt such a connection to Matilda. She's a young girl who is bold and doesn't care what people think of her. Her family looks down on her for her love of books, but she continues to learn anyway. Dahl taught all young children that reading can not only be an escape, but can bring people together. The classic book and movie was recently adapted into a play, which I would die to see. Last, but certainly not least, Trunchbull is the worst. 

James and the Giant Peach

Although this movie has a sullen tone, the songs get stuck right into your head and the characters are lively. I absolutely love that this adaptation starts out live action, and when James eats the peach, the world is magically transformed into animation. Also, all of the bugs from the beginning part of the movie have come alive and are living inside the giant peach with James. It's a wonderful tale of adventure and friendship, and how important love is over violence or greed. 

The Witches 

By far one of the strangest books, and adaptations from Dahl, but it's a movie you'll never not watch when it's on TV. Anjelica Huston slays as the Grand High Witch, leading her gaggle of cackling witches in a quaint little English town. My all time favorite part of the book is when Luke, the main character, sneaks into the witch's meeting and sees that all of the things his grandmother told him about witches are true. Slowly but surely, we see the witches go from beautiful women to disgusting witches. They take off their wigs, and shoes, which reveal the true nature of their feet: completely square. While it's an incredibly silly scene, I always loved how imaginative Dahl was in terms of the witches, and how Luke's grandmother was right all along. 

Happy Roald Dahl Day! Be sure to celebrate this magical author's work by either reading his tales or watching any of these great adaptations! What's your favorite adaptation?