The Art of Saying No | As Told By A Ginger With Anxiety

I've always been a people pleaser. From a young age, I had a lot of anxiety when it came to any kind of confrontation, having to disagree or say no to someone or something. Since beginning therapy, my therapist told me something that has continued to stick with me: Erica, you're an adult. You do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or anxious, regardless of the circumstances. 

Therapy has taught me many things, but one of the most inspirational lessons has been the art of saying no. I've learned that not only is it okay to say no, sometimes it's the right choice for you. Here are some new mantras I've learned in the art of saying no.

This is something I've always had trouble with. When you're a people pleaser, sticking up for yourself becomes difficult. You come across the anxiety of making others angry, and for me: having others not like you. I've always had a good deal of anxiety when it comes to how others see me, and the act of sticking up for myself directly affects that. It's so important to know when you're being disrespected and protect yourself, rather than let a situation build and build until it either explodes, or ruins a relationship. Yes, sticking up for yourself could ultimately ruin a relationship anyway, but if someone has a problem with you protecting yourself, they weren't a good friend to begin with. 

Realize that you do not have to put up with anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or uneasy. Anxiety affects everyone differently, and people who have more serious bouts can feel anxious for smaller things and that can be hard to understand for people who aren't in the same mind frame. If you find yourself becoming anxious or uncomfortable more often than not, it's time to assess the situation and know you deserve better, and more understanding. 

This is probably the toughest lesson I've had to learn. More recently, I've found it easier to stick up for myself or remove certain people from my life who aren't treating me respectfully, but the tricky part is moving on from it. With my anxiety, it becomes a struggle to fully move on once I've made the decision to say no to a relationship. I'll take obsessive negative thoughts for 200, Alex. However, with therapy I'm learning healthier ways to remove myself from uncomfortable situations. I would rather have less friends and a more positive outlook on life, than be surrounded by negative people who don't treat me with compassion and understanding. 

How have you learned to say no in your life? Tell me your story! 

Rambling Reads | Dream Jumper

On Friday night, I happened upon the most magical experience. My friend Kelly (who is the biggest badass when it comes to any form of literature) invited me to come to this event at her bookstore, so I went to check it out. Turns out, it was the coolest thing.

Greg Grunberg and Lucas Turnbloom were there talking about their shiny, new graphic novel: Dream Jumper. When I heard them discussing it, I was immediately intrigued. I shopped around the store for awhile afterwards, convincing myself to buy this new graphic novel, and get it signed by the two guys. When my friend and I went up to get our books signed, it was so much fun. Grunberg and Turnbloom are the sweetest, most engaging people and it's so apparent how much they care about kids sitting down and reading for pleasure.

   

So, here we go. Let's take a dive into Dream Jumper. 

Dream Jumper tells the story of Ben, a young boy with a special gift. He can jump into other people's dreams. Although the idea does terrify me, the premise is very fresh and I was pleased to see a book with a unique plot, rather than a play off something already written.

Ben's best friend, Jake, is a great character. He's the comical relief in moments of drama, and I just love how he's constantly trying to market Ben's gift, wanting him to see new wireframes for the website and brainstorming different names for his business of saving people from their own nightmares. He's a hoot.

I don't want to spoil anything for the folks who want to read this, but I will say that it's got some great twists and I have my theories for the next book, based on how the novel ended.

Probably one of my favorite things about this graphic novel was that it teaches young kids they have the power to fight their own nightmares. When I was younger, I constantly battled nightmares and would even wake up crying in the middle of the night with my mom running into my bedroom, scared out of her wits. It's an important lesson to learn that part of growing up means fighting our own battles - including nightmares.

Ben's fight with Erebus, the gigantic dream monster named after a Greek god who lived in the deep shadows of the Underworld, is a true test of his courage. Erebus takes your deepest fears and uses them against you, and in this case, Ben's biggest fear is himself. It was refreshing to see such deep themes in a children's graphic novel, and I felt proud of Ben for standing up to his fears of himself and "being nothing" with the help of his new friend, Lewis.

Lastly, the illustrations in this graphic novel are fantastic. For the fans of the Amulet series by Kazu Kibuishi, this is the graphic novel for you. I'm an uber fan of Amulet (I own the entire series) so when I opened this book, I fell into the story through the illustrations.

Well, there you have it. I finished this book in a little over two hours, because I literally couldn't put it down. I loved going on this adventure with Ben, and can't wait to see what the next volume entails!



Have you read Dream Jumper? If so, tell me your thoughts about the novel, I wanna hear em!